Rabbi Levin's Blog

We have a custom that a bride’s face is veiled during the Chuppah. One of the reasons for this is that when Yakov (Jacob) married Leah her face was covered. On the surface this is one of the strangest things. You probably know the story that is told in this week’s Parsha. Yakov worked day and night tending Lavan’s sheep in return for Lavan’s promise to give him Rachel as his wife. On the night of the wedding, Lavan tricked Yakov and brought Leah to the Chuppah instead, and because her face was covered, Yakov didn’t find out until later. He then had to work for another seven years for Rachel. So does this make sense? We do the same thing for thousands of years, covering the bride’s face at the Chuppah, to recreate one of the greatest swindles in history?

Rabbi Yosef Jacobson has a great commentary on this, and the following is based on his talks. The word "Torah" means teaching or lesson in life. All the stories in the Torah have a life lesson for each of us in all generations, and every person in the story relates to one of our character traits. Rachel is beautiful, attractive and charming. The translation of the Hebrew word "Rachel" is "ewe". Like a docile sheep, Rachel goes along gently with Yakov without challenging him, "Leah" means "tired". Leah's eyes were "weak", the Torah tells us, and Rashi explains that she cried a lot. Leah thinks deeply about things. She is, unlike Rachel, complicated and challenging, and it exhausts her.  

When we meet someone and first get to know each other, and throughout the engagement, we are Rachel. So attractive, so attentive, so agreeable, the person I can't wait to marry and spend the rest of my life with. This is Rachel, the beautiful, gentle, uncomplicated follower. Then we get married, and, as the Torah phrases it, "Behold she is Leah!". Our spouse (this goes for husbands and wives) challenges us and is not always as attentive or willing to go along. As time goes on, we begin to wonder what happened to the Rachel we married. In fact, in the story, Rachel dies young and Yakov ends up spending most of his life with Leah, and they are buried together. It is easy to go along in life and never realize our faults. To get stuck in one place without growth and to be complacent. We want to live our lives without challenge, we love to feel good about ourselves and that is where, if left to ourselves, we might stay. Leah comes along and challenges us. She is complicated and deep. She questions us and forces us to examine who we are and where we are heading. It was Leah who bore the most of the Jewish tribes. It is our embrace of self examination and challenge that moves us forward and helps us grow and produce. So after the courtship and euphoric period of being with Rachel, if we recognize that it is Leah who lifts us up and helps us progress in life, we can truly appreciate who our spouse is and form a deep bond that lasts for a lifetime. 

This is the reason that the bride is veiled during the Chuppah, Rachel and Leah are the story of every marriage. We are telling our soon to be wife that we accept her however she is. It is not only the beautiful, radiant, attentive Rachel with stars in her eyes that we have seen that we are marrying. We are marrying a person who is hidden and covered, we are committing to that which we cannot see, it is Leah that we are accepting as our life's partner.  I recommend that you watch the entire lecture, It will be a couple of hours very well spent. 

 I am writing these lines from the Chabad Shluchim convention in New York, on a shuttle bus from Crown Heights, Brooklyn to Great Neck, Queens where several thousand fellow Chabad Rabbis are spending the day in workshops and seminars. We will be discussing the major issues facing Jewry around the world, share information and ideas, and discuss solutions to some of the most pressing problems. Young and old, from California, Africa, Israel and just about every country in the world that allows Jews, we will join together as brothers. (The sisters will do the same in January, and we’ll compare notes.)

If you’ve read my writing over the past years, you’ve heard me rant and rave about what a great event this is, unmatched in the world. That is not hyperbole, it is a fact. I get this amazing feeling every year, and it is a great inspiration to me, and more so to a young couple living in Kona, HI or in the Congo.

I just want to express one thought though that strikes me today. We are reading articles about the dismal state of Jewish Identity today, especially among our young people. A tiny percentage of Jews raised outside of strongly observant communities are dedicated to raising Jewish families. The apathy toward their heritage and Jewish identity is nothing short of terrifying.

There is a Chassidus teaching that the world is balanced between light and darkness. If there is great light, there is corresponding great darkness, and vice versa. This is so that we should always have free choice. In the face of the great Divine revelation in the time of the First Temple, when daily miracles could be seen by anyone who chose to look, the inner drive for idol worship was so powerful, similar to the drive for intimate contacthat a significant portion of the population, including many leaders, went down that tragic path.

Today when there is so much apathy toward Judaism, the Rebbe, who foresaw this many years ago, created the counter balance. Couples and families whose fiery commitment to Judaism, and whose love for every individual Jew regardless of their religious connection or feelings of identity, provides a network of Jewish light that is opening the door to hundreds of thousands of Jews to examine the choice to reconnect.

This week we read that Avraham our forefather “became old” and started working on finding a wife for his son Yitzchak.  In our society, “becoming old” does not sound very positive, but in the Torah the term for old, “Zaken”, is in fact a great compliment. The Hebrew letters of the word are an acronym for the words “Ze kanah [chochma]” – this person has acquired wisdom.  In fact, this term can sometimes be used for a young but very wise person.  So when it says “Avraham Zaken”, it means not only that he was advanced in age, but that he had attained a great level of wisdom.  In addition to “Avraham Zaken”, the Torah adds the words “Ba Bayamim”, literally translated as “he came with his days”, usually explained as advanced in years.  However, in the context of the Torah’s description of Avraham, there is a much more meaningful explanation. The Zohar says that this expression means that Avraham “had” all his days. Not a single day was wasted. If we use a day wisely, then we “have” the day, we own it and it has contributed to our work in the world. When we waste a day doing nothing, then that day is lost and has contributed nothing.

The double expression, “old” and “with his days”, teaches us an important lesson.  As we go through our lives, we want to make sure that each day is meaningful.  Not only should we be doing good things in a general sense, but we should make sure to bring significance to each day. This way, we will “have our days” with us as we live our lives. But that is not enough. Sometimes a person is doing wonderful things for the world and forgetting about him or herself. Busy days go by, and before you know it a week has passed without any learning or intellectual growth. The Torah tells us about our forefather, whom we should try to emulate, that he had both. He gained great wisdom through personal study of Torah and learning from his experiences, and he did wonderful things for others every day. A full life is a life of personal growth and wisdom - “Zaken”, and making a difference in the world each day, “having our days.”