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Dear Guad

Collected Responsa of the Chief Rabbi of Suburban Guadalajara


Even before the birth of the Internet, the esteemed chief rabbi of suburban Guadalajara had a reputation among cyber-Jews for answering questions that no one else would touch, and doing it with elegance and ease. His sharp-shooting response, profundity of insight, spunky presentation style and eclectic expertise have charmed and enlighten everyone from America's bourgeois bohemians to Africa's pygmy savages.


Sighting Moshiach
Sighting Moshiach
Is it true that he shall suddenly appear on a main street in Jerusalem, a poor old man spewing forth wisdom and declaring the time of redemption has arrived? If so, why will they not lock him up?
Discuss 11 Comments
What Is G‑d?
What Is G‑d?
The other day I realized that I hadn't seen G-d in quite a while--probably not since childhood... Where did I misplace him?
Discuss 30 Comments
Is G‑d an Agnostic?
Is G‑d an Agnostic?
I think G-d is also agnostic. He sits there perpetually wondering whether He exists or does not exist. Out of His questioning, a whole world is generated--with beings like us that go around asking, "Is this for real, or what?"
Discuss 37 Comments
Is G-d an It, an I, or Nothing?
Is G-d an It, an I, or Nothing?
Or: G-d's Sticky Fingerprints
What's the difference between No-thingness with a capital N and vanilla nothing with a lower case n? What makes one Nothing G-d and the other just nothing?
Discuss 11 Comments
Unorthodox Judaism
Unorthodox Judaism
I like Shabbat. I like Torah, especially the Kabbalah stuff and Chassidic stories. I feel a strong attachment to the Jewish people. But I'm a non-conformist at heart -- I just can't see myself following all those regulations
Discuss 20 Comments
Can I Convert to Judaism?
How Does One Convert to Judaism?
There is no such thing as conversion to Judaism. In fact, there is no word for "conversion" in the language of the Torah. As for Judaism, I don’t believe such a thing exists. What is this, some kind of religion? Get this straight: There is Torah and there are Jews. No isms. No religion. Just us Jews caught up in this struggle to hold onto the Torah.
Discuss 129 Comments
How Was the Torah Written?
How and When was the Torah Written?
To explain that, I would need a long conversation with you about what is G-d and how G-d talks to people and why....
Discuss 16 Comments
Women in the Synagogue
Women in the Synagogue
An Answer to the Controversy
The issue is even more baffling than you think. Most of the guidelines for prayer, we learned from a lady named Chana who lived about 3000 years ago. Yet all the dominant roles in communal prayer are given to men!
Discuss 25 Comments
The Private I
The Difficult Case of the Private I
My guru says I must first surrender my ego in order to proceed with his five day, ten-step path to total enlightenment. Personally, I find my ego quite useful, even neccessary. What do you think? Are egos really as bad as they are made out to be?
Discuss 3 Comments
Fantasy
Fantasy
In each moment of life, a door opens through which we can step out of the fantasy and plug our world into the realm of reality. Eventually, we create the ultimate interactive game (that's right, we're still in beta)
Rotten People
Why Do Great Things Happen To Rotten People?
You're right, it shouldn't work that way. The world was not designed this way. The plain truth is: They've hacked the system
Discuss 15 Comments
Why Do Things Go Wrong?
Why Do Things Go Wrong?
Adam wasn't supposed to eat from that tree. Cain and Abel were supposed to talk things out. Everyone was supposed to get along. That was Plan A
Discuss 48 Comments
Where is Life's “Undo” Function?
Where is Life's “Undo” Function?
I've said it many times and let me repeat: The Master of the Universe not only talks to Himself, He talks to figments of His holy imagination. Not only that, those figments of His holy imagination talk back to Him. And He listens...
Discuss 3 Comments
Am I just a Figment of Someone's Imagination?
Am I just a Figment of Someone's Imagination?
Unpredictable + Self-Conscious = Free Choice. Bingo, we have a formula for free-choice figments!
Discuss 9 Comments

Sci-Fi & Fantasy
Expand Heaven Exposed
Heaven Exposed
Expand Dear Guad
Dear Guad

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